My Korean Husband (나의 한국인 남편)
Married with a Korean husband. What to know about a Korean husband from cultural differences to life in Korea. Multicultural family in Korea. (한국인 남편과 결혼했다. 문화적 차이에서 한국 생활에 이르기까지 한국 남편에 대해 알아야 할 것. 한국의 다문화 가정.)
-
On The Phone With My Korean Mother-in-Law
After the apple incident, in which my mother-in-law called one day and asked if I liked apples years ago and I answered yes only to have her hang up to then purchase and send me a box of some 50 big delicious apples which was much to much for us to handle before they were to go rotten, I’ve tried to figure out what she means when she asks me these innocent questions. Do you have a Korean mother-in-law? There are a sure a lot of stories about how bad they can be, but I’ve got some reasons Korean mother-in-laws can be pretty good. And these phone calls and the…
-
Mom, why can’t I understand them?
I met my husband’s family early on in our relationship. Only a few months into the courtship he was headed down to Busan for something or other and he was going to stay at his sister’s house. I asked if I could go to meet his family and he took me and didn’t mention until we were at the door that Korean families don’t usually meet girlfriends and that his conservative family would probably ask if we were going to get married soon. We met and as my Korean conversational skills were pretty low at the time I played with my husband’s one year old nephew for most of the…
-
My Korean Mother-In-Law’s First Visit
On my way home from work this afternoon, my husband called and told me his father would be coming to the city to go to a tax office and may possibly be staying the night at our house. Our house? Possibly? Of course, my husband is currently in a van on his way out of the city for a concert, so just me and his dad. This scenario reminded me of the one and only time his mother visited us just before we got married. There are a lot of stories about mother-in-law’s and when it comes to Korean mother-in-law’s, well, the stories aren’t usually that good. To be honest,…
-
When I Met My Korean Boyfriend’s Father For The First Time
There’s only one important man when it comes time to meet the significant other’s family in Korea and that is the father. To me, and I would imagine to most women, the mother was the person I wanted to impress and I had already met her a couple years earlier. I wasn’t very concerned with the father, what father wouldn’t I be able to impress after all? Joking aside though, I was not prepared for how serious meeting him was really going to be or what it meant. (This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a certain percentage of a sale if you purchase after clicking. These funds…
-
First Meeting: The Korean Women of the Family
Two weeks ago, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law both called to ask what I wanted for my birthday. I’m getting better at telling them what I need, because I’ve realized when left to their own devices they get me things that aren’t me at all either because what they’re giving me is what Korean family members usually give each other, or they just don’t know me all that well due to the obvious language differences. I’m still not sure which is the case, to be honest. I can explain things in Korean until I’m blue in the face, but when it comes to showing my personality, my real personality, it’s a…
-
Memories of Our Wedding
I can’t believe one year has already gone by. It feels like this happened just yesterday. Oh the memories of that beautiful day with wonderful people, delicious food, joyous music and such happiness surrounding us all. A poem by Khalil Gibran, read at our ceremony and introduced to me by my grandmother when I was in high school. ~On Marriage~ You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore. You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days. Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God. But let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance…
-
A Korean in an American Wedding Ceremony
Back in October of 2011, when Jae-oo and I were first married, we were in Busan, South Korea, and had opted for a very traditional Korean wedding, with hanboks, ceremonial bowing, and all. Recently, though, we celebrated our one-year anniversary and talked about that American wedding ceremony instead, since that was the date we chose to celebrate each year. At the time, many things about the American wedding felt so normal to me, what a wedding should be, but they were quite unfamiliar to him. Those memories came flooding back as we reminisced. (This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a certain percentage of a sale if you…
-
A Korean Deals with Sarcasm
The second time he came home with me, it was summer and everyone was more comfortable. Jae-oo knew where things were in the house and could get them on his own, though he still wanted me to help him find things in the kitchen, and my family was now comfortable enough to wear pajamas in front of him in the morning. With guards let down, it was inevitable that this would be the first time to really see if there was any discomfort between people without the fake ‘nice to meet you’ smiles on. The novelty of dating a foreigner had somewhat rubbed off and people were starting to act…
-
An American Family and a Korean Husband
The first trip home with Jae-oo was a lot of introductions. Not only was he meeting friends he’d heard stories of but just as, or maybe more, importantly he was meeting my family. He’d met my mother on her visit to Korea but was now meeting my sisters and then aunts and uncles and grandparents. That may sound like the whole family, but that is just the beginning. My family is large and large in the sense that my mother’s generation has remained very close to their cousins which made the “aunts” and the “uncles” of my generation nearly triple and which meant we grew up with just as many…
-
Halloween with a Korean
This week, I got back to Korea from a month long trip home that I manage to get away for once a year. This year, we were home for Thanksgiving and it dawned on me that for the past four years I have taken Jae-oo home to celebrate a different American holiday each time. And each time I realize it is his first time celebrating such and such a holiday American style. I now have this urge to make a baby’s “Jae-oo’s First” album of the events that transpire. Seeing these holidays through his eyes and answering questions that seem so obvious to me as I grew up celebrating a…
-
Paebaek Ceremony in Korea: From Chestnuts to Piggybacks
You might think the main wedding ceremony is the most meaningful part of a Korean wedding, but in many ways, the paebaek ceremony is where things become truly personal. This traditional Korean wedding ceremony is smaller, more intimate, and centered on family. It is the moment when the bride and groom bow to their elders, receive blessings and advice, and symbolically unite the two families. It is also the part of the wedding that many people remember most because it includes some of the most iconic traditions: the Hanbok, tossing the dates and chestnuts, and yes, the famous piggyback ride. When I had my own Korean wedding ceremony, the paebaek…
-
Traditional Korean Wedding Ceremony: A Step-By-Step Guide
Getting married in another country, or to a person from another culture, comes with a host of lessons. When we decided to get married, we agreed almost immediately that we wanted a traditional ceremony in each of our home countries. For our Korean ceremony, that meant figuring out the taerye, “the great ritual”, from the beginning. Many Koreans today opt for a Western-style ceremony, but since we were doing that version in the United States, we wanted the Korean ceremony to be fully traditional. What followed involved a live goose, a split gourd, an asymmetrical number of bows, Hanbok sleeves two feet longer than my arms, and one of the…
-
My First Hanbok & Getting Married To A Korean Man
My how the time has gone. I didn’t realize it’d been three weeks since I last posted on here until today when I logged on. When planning a wedding, or in my case two, but mostly half of only one, things just pile up. This past weekend I got married to Jae-oo in our first wedding ceremony. As we’ve decided to become a multi-cultural duo we’ve opted for a very traditional Korean ceremony in his home town and then in a couple months a traditional American ceremony in my home town. That’s getting a little ahead of my topic for this blog though as I’ve decided to go back a…
