A Guide To Gift Giving In Korea: From Weddings To Housewarming Parties
Whether you’re just living in Korea for a short time, living for an extended period, or perhaps marry into the culture, it’s important to know proper gift giving etiquette in Korea. When you’re in another country and are invited to an event that involves giving the person you’re celebrating a gift, it is so important to do your research and not look clueless or worse, give something taboo. This is the guide for those people living in Korea or coming to Korea for an event, check out this guide if you want gifts to give your Korean-loving friends.
If you’re wondering what the best gift to give at a wedding in Korea, or perhaps what gift to give for a child’s first birthday, at Chuseok, or at Christmas, then this is the gift giving guide to Korea for you. Fear not… it can be pretty straight forward.
Get ready to give gifts in Korea. Here’s what you need to know:
- What To Know About Giving Gifts In Korea
- Common Gift Options in Korea
- Events To Give Gifts In Korea
- What Gifts Should I Avoid Giving In Korea
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What To Know About Giving Gifts In Korea
Reciprocity
It’s important to know that Koreans believe strongly in reciprocity when it comes to gift giving. This is important to note because you don’t want to give something that is exorbitantly priced as the receiver will feel as though they need to respond in kind. Also important to know if someone gives you something as there will be an expectation attached.
Gifts For Teachers
Technically, due to the Kim Young Ran Act enacted some years ago, teachers are not allowed to accept ANY gifts from parents or students. This goes for kindergarten all the way up to university. Each year around Children’s Day and then Teacher’s Day, parents ask again and again in the groups online what they should get for their children’s teachers and teachers ask if they can even accept.
While there is indeed a law, parents have figured out how to side-step it slightly by giving gifts that can be shared among all teachers as opposed to say gift-certificates for their own teacher as used to be fashion. A gift box of teas, for example, is perfect as it can go into the teacher’s lounge and be shared by everyone. Do NOT go overboard with gifting to your favorite teacher. Not only can they get in trouble but if only one teacher receives gifts and can’t share, it makes it awkward among staff.
The Office of Education in Korea does understand that there are customs and most parents mean well so they have said that gifts under W30,000 that are offered publicly are fine. Should a teacher be caught receiving anything larger than W100,000, the teacher will be dismissed. Not only that, but the parents could face a fine of up to 30 million won. This is basically in an effort to hinder bribing and creating bias.
Gifts For New Bosses & Colleagues
Twice each year when the waves of ESL teachers are headed to Korea to either teach in the public school system or hagwon (private schools), there is an influx of questions pertaining to what to buy for the new boss and colleagues. This really isn’t necessary. More often, Korean teachers will bring a box of fruit, cookies, or tea that can be shared in the staff room on occasion. Occasions include when they are getting married or leaving the school. It’s not expected when you first start.
Common Gift Options In Korea
I don’t know about anyone else, but finding the perfect gift for someone or an event is stressful. You have to consider your relationship with this person, their preferences, or worry about someone finding the same gift that you did. Think about during the holidays when you’re pacing the aisle of every department store on earth. That’s the level of stress that I am talking about.
But let’s take it to the next level, living in a foreign country. What if the gift I give is taboo? What if the gift is inappropriate?
Here are some of the common gifting options in Korea.
Money
While this may seem awkward to westerners who might see this as impersonal, this is the most common gift to give in Korea. Maybe gifting in Korea is actually easier than you thought.
That said, do not just whip a bunch of cash out of your pocket. Make sure to place the cash in a nice envelope before presenting to the person. Money is a common gift for both children and adults and is a proper gift for weddings, traditional holidays, birthdays, and other ceremonies.
- How much money is an appropriate gift in Korea? This is a really common question and comes down to quite a few factors. Here is what you need to consider:
- How close are you to the person being celebrated? Family or distant relative? Best friend or acquaintance? Colleague you see daily or staff member you’ve never met?
- Has this person gifted you cash previously? As mentioned, Koreans are big into reciprocity, so if the person gifted you at some point, this is prime time to literally repay them.
- Are you actually planning to attend the gift? Or just sending money as a gesture?
- Do you have plenty of funds? Or not so much?
- So, how much money is an appropriate gift in Korea?
- The minimum if you’re not close or not planning to attend is usually W30,000.
- If you’re not close but still planning to attend the event, a wedding maybe, you’d want to give W50,000 because that will cover the buffet you’ll eat and maybe leave a bit extra for the couple.
- If you’re close to the person and attending their event, in Korea the average would be around W100,000 but if you’re not financially stable or at a lower position than the person receiving, they’ll absolutely understand if you give W50,000.
- If you’re well off, very close to the person, or family, you’ll want to go even higher. It’s an art though and remember that the couple will then basically “owe” you the same amount at a later event you host.
Health Related Products
Everything from health supplements, teas, and vitamins to red ginseng are great gifts in Korea. Ginseng works well for gifts to Korean in-laws. On that same note, you can also send high-end food products like Hanwoo beef, expensive mushrooms, and wild ginseng too.
In an office situation, you’ll often see people bring in boxes of small juice bottles to share. This is a great choice when you’re visiting family or friends, too. If you’re not really sure what to look for when you head out to look for supplements and vitamins in Korea, just shop on iHerb. It’s in English and gets you everything you need right here in Korea. You could even give Korean instant coffee. It’s a Korean staple afterall.
Alcohol
This may or may not be a good gift and it really depends on the person and whether they drink and what they drink. Wine is definitely more of a western style alcohol gift. The drinking culture is intense here in Korea, but not everyone is intense about it so if your in-laws aren’t, maybe don’t give this. Hallie’s in-laws don’t drink wine and when gifted with a bottle put it on a shelf never to be enjoyed. They did appreciate a bottle of bokbunja though so it’s important to know what the person indeed enjoys.
Events To Give Gifts In Korea
A Wedding
Wedding ceremonies can vary greatly in Korea. While many opt for a more western styled ceremony with a quick buffet meal, many multicultural families opt for the more traditional Korean wedding ceremony.
When you go to a wedding in The United States, there’s typically a registry with a department store or online. This is where the couple will pick and choose things that they want that you have the option of buying. This can be anything from electronic appliances to household goods which allows the couple to prepare for their new home together.
In Korea, it is more common to give a certain amount of money, and to me it’s definitely the safer option.
But the question is, how much money should I give as a gift at a wedding in Korea?
There’s obviously a fine line between being cheap and seeming snobby by throwing your money around as if it doesn’t matter. The money amount depends on status and how close you are with the family. If you are close with the bride, groom, or their parents, then it would be a good idea to give between W50,000-W100,000. However, if this relationship isn’t as close such as with a colleague from work, then W30,000-W50,000 is sufficient.
Do note that Koreans tend to gift wedding invitations to many many people. While in the west we tend to invite a select number of people, Koreans are a bit more open with invites and will invite EVERYONE on staff at school. This is changing a bit, but if you receive an invitation from someone that you have really never spoken with, don’t feel like you need to go.
Commonly, for a school or staff wedding situation, one member on staff who is close with the teacher/staff member will go to the ceremony and they will take an envelope with money from everyone else on staff to gift to the bride and groom. So, ask around at your school or office for the member who is going and just give them a nice envelope with W30,000 inside. It’s a nice gesture.
This money is normally given to offset all the costs that were put into the ceremony. If you’re going to the ceremony, be sure that your money gift is in the most pristine condition. This means that you need to get new bills from the bank and the envelope is also very important.
You can’t just put the money into anything and call it a day. Put it in a plain white envelope and label it with the name of the person you know from the couple. Actually, the couple will very likely never even see your envelope but they will see your name and the amount you’ve given in a gift registry they receive later.
What am I talking about? Don’t be surprised when you arrive at the wedding ceremony to find two tables near the entrance. If not two tables, there will be one table with two people. One person accepts the money from the guests of the groom and the other for the guests of the bride. The attendants will ask who you’re a guest of and they will write down how much money you’ve given. They will then hand you a ticket for the buffet meal. Suffice to say, you’re paying for your buffet meal.
A Housewarming Party
Where you’d commonly give a houseplant or bottle of wine, in Korea, housewarming parties, jip-deu-li (집들이), are all about giving cleaning products and toilet paper. It might seem awkward at first, but it really makes quite a bit of sense to give household cleaning supplies to someone that has just gotten a new place. If you’re going to a housewarming party in Korea, just stock up in the cleaning aisle.
A Child’s First Birthday
A child’s first birthday, a doljanchi (돌잔치), is a pretty big deal no matter where you are in the world. Many cultures strive to be elaborate to celebrate the new life and the first year milestones. Traditionally, gold rings used to be given as a gift for the child’s first birthday in Korea. However, over time, the prices of this precious item have gone up which is why close friends and family only give this.
While someone from western culture would consider clothes or baby toys as a perfect birthday gift, Koreans don’t exactly feel the same. I’m not saying don’t give the child material things for their birthday, but it’s more risky. As with weddings, money is a very common gift to give on birthdays, between W30,000-W50,000 is a safe range.
Money is great because the parents put so much into the first birthday, therefore making it a nice gesture. If it’s the child’s first 100 days of life, go for a chopstick/utensil set which is a very culturally appeasing gift. Still, money is also acceptable.
An Adult’s or Elder’s Birthday
Traditionally, the ages of 60, 70, and 80 are important milestones in Korean culture. The celebration for a 60th birthday is called a hwangab (환갑); The celebration for a 70th birthday is called a gohi (고희); and the celebration for an 80th birthday is called a palsun (팔순). Koreans usually throw lavish parties to celebrate or sometimes take a trip abroad to celebrate these milestones. The guide to gift giving here is actually more flexible than for weddings and other events.
Money is definitely a perfect gift to stay safe, and again it all depends on the status or relationship with that person. Because of the drinking culture in South Korea, alcohol including premium wines, soju, and other Korean delicacies are suitable for this event, too. You can even consider giving gift baskets with an assortment of foods.
Valentine’s Day & White Day
Everyone has a love or hate relationship with Valentine’s Day, which is not surprising considering consumerism does a pretty good job of making us feel super lonely on February 14th. In the west, this day is all about showering your significant other with gifts and affection which usually goes for both genders. In Korea, instead of exchanging gifts, the man is the main focus on Valentine’s Day. Women will give the man chocolates and sometimes flowers.
But ladies, don’t worry, as there is still a day for you to shine. In March, White Day is celebrated which requires the man to shower his love with gifts of chocolates and flowers. These are just two of the FIFTEEN couple’s holidays that exist in Korea actually. There is one each month but these are by far the most popular ones.
Korea’s Thanksgiving
Think of Chuseok as Korea’s Thanksgiving and probably the biggest holiday in Korea besides Seollal, or Lunar New Year. The holiday is celebrated in the autumn and the date changes depending on the Lunar Calendar.
Koreans travel far and wide to gather with family and friends in their hometowns. Even though it’s similar to Thanksgiving, gift giving is still appropriate during this holiday.
Typically, families will give money, or small gifts like socks and other items that you can find in the department stores. For parents and the elderly, it is pretty common to give gifts related to wellness such as vitamins and other health elixirs.
Because this is a family holiday, that kind of gift shows appreciation and hope of a healthy and longer life for older family members. If you’re a kindergarten English teacher in Korea, parents might send gifts such as food baskets and gift cards. Gift giving during this period is actually made extremely easy by stores though as they will have tables right at the entrance full of box sets put together specifically for the event. Just choose a SPAM gift set, toothpaste gift set, or other box from the table. Easy peasy.
Christmas
Don’t be surprised that Christmas is quite a bit more subdued in Korea. Christmas is one of the most important holidays of the year in the west and of course there are foreign Christmas markets and holiday events hosted by expats for some of that holiday cheer. It’s the time of year when we gather with family and friends.
In Korea, however, Christmas is more of a couple’s holiday which might come as a surprise. This is the one holiday where money isn’t an absolutely essential gift. Since it’s a couples holiday, women will receive cosmetics, while the men get clothing and accessories such as wallets by their significant others. If you’re attending a Christmas party, I suggest bringing a cake to the event. That’s usually a safe and suitable gift for the occasion in my experience.
Children’s Day, Teacher’s Day, & Parent’s Day
May is the biggest and definitely most expensive month in Korean culture because there are 3 holidays jam packed into one month. Let’s first start out with Children’s Day which is on May 5th. This holiday was an entirely new concept to me as an expat in Korea.
Basically, parents dedicate the day to their kids and take them to the zoo, Lotte World, or Everland. It’s a day where kids are showered with toys. A couple of days later on May 8th it’s the parent’s turn to be appreciated. In the west we have a separate holiday for our mothers and fathers. Whereas in Korea both people are celebrated in one day.
Children will usually give their parents letters, carnations, and other crafty/handmade gifts. Teacher’s Day is the last holiday to be celebrated and it’s on May 15th. The one thing I noticed is in Korea, being an educator is a lot more respectable than where I come from. As a country that holds educational standards so high, it’s easy to see why teachers are so appreciated by everyone. Sometimes it depends on what age group you work with in Korea.
For me, I didn’t get much for Teacher’s Day because I worked with middle and high school students. However, if you work with the younger students parents will give you food baskets, wine, coffee, and gift cards. Again, note that teachers technically aren’t allowed to accept gifts from parents due to the law. Most gifting to teachers is only done at kindergartens and even then must be under the W30,000 limit.
New Businesses
When a new business opens up, it’s considered a very big event. There’s usually a lot put into the opening party such as loud music, attractive promoters, food, pretty much anything to grab attention. Or, it can also be an intimate event with close friends and family.
Gift giving for a new business is different from the holidays. Many people will give cleaning supplies, various baked goods, food, or drinks. The most traditional gift for this kind of occasion is actually giving plants such as flowers and wreaths. When I was in Korea, I would see new business with these big, colorful flower displays that were covered in ribbons that had well wishes written on them in Korean. Normally those stands have fake flowers on them, but it’s always better to give real flowers as a gift.
What Gifts Should I Avoid Giving In Korea?
Now that I’ve given you various gift ideas depending on the event that you are attending or who you are giving the gift to. Let’s talk about the things that you should not give as a gift in Korea. Korean culture has superstitions like many cultures around the world. Some of those superstitions have an impact on the type of gifts to avoid.
First off, giving expensive gifts is probably not a good idea because Koreans will always feel the need to reciprocate. The next thing is to avoid anything that is sharp such as a knife or scissors, as this symbolizes cutting off a relationship with someone. Gifts with red writing are another thing to avoid because the color red or things that come in fours because it is connotated with death.
Gift shopping is stressful enough, putting yourself in a foreign country with lack of cultural knowledge is even scarier. Luckily, this detailed gift giving guide won’t lead you astray and hopefully give you some foreigner brownie points.
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5 Comments
derek shaw
I am visiting Korean friends in Korea for the first time. They have stayed with us in Canada twice (learning in English as second language, and then again during the crash of 2008/2009 to refresh and upgrade. The final visit was with their first-born (son), as a vacation. They also now have a daughter whom I’ve only met over video chats. I have already made the mistake of getting gifts for the kids that suit their interests, that would qualify as expensive (replica EPL jersey of Son HM for him, drawing supplies for her). I have the excuse that I am their Canadian 할아버지 (grandpa – honourary title). I’d like to get my hosts something, especially since they will be hosting me for my > 2 week stay, but I’ve become stuck for ideas. And I was not really aware of the reciprocity issue.
Any thoughts? I have some Canadian food specialties in mind, especially Maple Syrup and its candy derivatives, but it seems paltry to me.
Arriving July 26. Thanks in advance for any ideas.
Fi
I want to get my co-worker a gift card for her first baby. Saw Lotte, Shinsagae and Hyundai as the most popular stores, which one is more appropriate?
Hallie Bradley
All of those would probably be appreciated. In my experience, I’ve generally received Lotte more often and since they own so many brands, the gift cards can be good for just about anything. Maybe that info helps you. ^^
Don
I would like to give gifts this Christmas to a freind and her son who are from South Korea. Nothing expensive – I just want to make them feel welcome in New zealand. Could you please tell me what to avoid? Chocolates for her and a model car for the boy is the best I can come up with!
Jean Gelwicks
What is a good retirement gift