I’m Under Construction!
Eleven months ago we decided it was time to add a member to our family and the next thing we knew, just a month later, I was pregnant.
Though my mother warned me multiple times this was something that couldn’t be planned, we somehow managed to plan it pretty well. Anyone that reads my blog may have noticed by now that I am a planner. It’s not that I can’t handle unplanned events or occasions but, I always figure it’s better to have a plan going in and even if things change, I’ll have some sort of idea of how to adapt and cope with the changes. It’s all about the preparation for me. I like to be prepared. Knowing that it’s not always that easy and probably usually isn’t to become pregnant, I may have been a bit in shock when I found out to be honest. I guess I had prepared myself for it to take a bit more time. Making a decision and then having an almost immediate response wasn’t what I’d expected for this particular life changing choice. I guess it’s a good thing then that the baby doesn’t come immediately but rather grows and forms for ten months before really arriving.
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Not only did it then dawn on me that I’d have to find a doctor, a hospital or clinic, buy all of the little baby amenities from a crib and bottles to clothes and pacifiers and figure out how to do all of this while working and maintaining somewhat of a normal life, but I’d have to also do all of this in Korea. I hadn’t yet studied up on baby related Korean lingo and I hadn’t even noticed a baby related shop in my seven years of living here, I hadn’t really been looking though either. My mom wouldn’t be at the birth or even in the same city as I know my grandmother was for her and my husband and I probably had varying ideas about what raising a child even entailed just because we were coming from two different cultural backgrounds.
I had gotten pregnant, which we had planned, but I hadn’t planned on it taking so fast and at that moment I was drawn to a piece of paper and a handy pen with which I could jot down the random thoughts that raced through my head.
Where do you buy baby food? Do Koreans use baby food? Is it possible to get a crib here? Do you want a crib? I know I want a crib. Is my current doctor okay? Is she too far away since she’s in Yongsan and we live in Mapo? How do you say “morning sickness”, “due date” and “it’s delicious but because I’m pregnant that’s making me sick” in Korean? Are there Lamaze classes? We’re going to convert your music room to a baby room, right?… Questions and thoughts abounded.
All of these things started racing through my head but the most important of them all and first I had to share the news with my husband. I’d gone out jogging and something just didn’t feel right. I’d gotten this sweeping headache suddenly and felt nauseous and on the way home had a random thought to buy a pregnancy test. My husband had gone out with friends and after returning home and finding the test to be positive I called to tell him he might want to come home a bit earlier than he’d expected so that I could show him something and I told him not to get drunk. We both enjoy our alone time and our friend time and he was out with his friends having a grand time.
He came home and looked around the house assuming I’d changed something from the curtains to the pillows or something in between and didn’t notice the test sitting on the table.
When he finally saw the test, his face immediately lit up into a broad smile and he hugged me while we both had tears in our eyes. That was soon followed by a, “Why didn’t you tell me you felt like you needed a test? I would have gotten it for you.” Actually, I had mentioned it to him but I hadn’t said that I thought I was pregnant because I didn’t want to get his hopes up if we weren’t since we’d only just started trying. Instead, I’d just said maybe we should check since we were trying. Because I hadn’t pushed the issue, he didn’t want to buy one because he didn’t want to stress me out by getting one and finding out we weren’t pregnant. It was one of those sweet miss-communications.
It was confirmed that we were in fact pregnant and many of the conversations that followed in the next nine months covered different cultural expectations and how we would compromise his Korean ideas with my American ones.
Relationships are all about compromising together and supporting one another and this decision brought even more opportunities for us to do just that.
From conversations on how we’d raise a bilingual child to diet, sleeping routines and more, we’ve grown even closer than we were before and now we’re excited to become close to another person.
With this post published, it means that we’ve headed to the hospital and I may or may not be online for a bit. Here’s to the last photos of us as an excited duo as we welcome one more to become a trio.
A cute little aside about the title of this post: obviously becoming pregnant meant learning new words and terms for both me and my husband. When it neared the last month I started talking about contractions and what he should be doing when they start and how he shouldn’t worry but should get our “go” bag and be prepared to time them and so on. Throughout the conversation, I kept saying “contraction” but he kept repeating the nearest word he could think of which was “construction”. In the weeks leading up to the baby being born with Braxton Hicks contractions changing into labor contractions, every time I said that I had a contraction, he’d say I was having a construction. In the morning when he’d hear me sigh he’d ask if I was having a “construction”.
Ultimately, I decided I am indeed under construction.
Shoutout to Lupin Gold for the awesome photos of us! Check out their website for more information on the photographer.